I’m at a time in my life where there seems to be many unknowns. Recently, I made a big decision about culinary school. When I started school again in January, after having Harper five months earlier, it became obvious school wasn’t the right place for me at the time. I’m not completely writing school off, but I’m done for now at least. This was a hard choice, mainly because it meant I didn’t have a clue what was next for me. Also, becoming a mom has changed everything as well. I desire to stay home with Harper, but I also desire to have “me” time and keep growing who I am and want to be. Becoming a mom and leaving school has been a big change in my daily routine. One of the biggest changes is what my daily conversations look like now. I’m talking to a little person who doesn’t really “talk” back. It’s a lot of “do you want cereal…smile…yes, okay.” Which can make for some long days and word vomit the minute Jon walks in the door. Because of this change, some days are super lonely and dark, and I question every decision I’ve made. But, other days I am able to see God at work in my life. On these days, I have peace with what He is doing, and I believe He is going to use these changes to bring Him honor in some way, even if I don’t see how yet. During my quiet time this past week, I read this verse…
For it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
This verse encouraged me to get up and do something, even if I’m not sure what that “something” is. Living in the present and taking care of my family and myself, keeping myself available to what God has next for me. During these times of uncertainty I find myself missing my mom and wishing I could call her and talk to her about everything. Since that isn’t possible I usually thank God for the time I had with her and ask him to give her a hug for me and tell her I love her. My heart still aches when I pray this prayer but I am comforted and encouraged by his love. With my heart and head focused on Him I know I am on the right path, wherever that may lead me.